He loves me not?

When a day changes dates and years, it doesn’t mean that what you were facing the date before won’t roll over into the new one. If this was the case, 2015 would’ve started out fearless and without the thought of you still lingering. I can’t seem to move on from what we had or what I thought we had. The truth is, maybe, probably, there was really nothing. You moved back home but you keep coming back, via phone call, text, messages, pictures and in video form. I’ve gotten over crushes, lovers and heartbreaks before. I’ve cried and felt sorry for myself and then I’ve moved on. I can’t seem to do the same with you. See, in January I drove 6 hours to see you and it was perfect. In February, you drove 6 hours to me. Or well, the city I’m in because I wasn’t the only reason you came down. What worries me most is the uncontrollable urge I feel to do anything to be with you and the truth is, I don’t know if you would do the same for me. You told me once you loved me. And ever since then, I’ve told you I love you exactly three times, but it has never been reciprocated again. I fear the love you feel for me only comes in waves and those waves only seem to come when they’re most convenient. I haven’t loved a person this much in a very long time. I’m always scared to be one of those people that falls mad head over heels for a person and they seem kind of stupid to me. Like they lose control over their emotions and who the are. But here I am, being stupid, feeling things I can’t control, trying to make you like me and I’m tired. I want to feel like you love me all the time. I want to feel like you’re proud to tell others that you’re with me and not feel like I can’t confidently say that we’re together.





Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s